Ecstatic Birth

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‘ECSTATIC BIRTH' IS A CALL FOR REVOLUTION, A REVOLUTION IN THE WAY WE THINK ABOUT BIRTH AND, AS A RESULT, THE WAY WE GIVE BIRTH AND SUPPORT BIRTH.

Ecstatic Birth is an invitation to participate in healing the most ancient of thought forms, “BIRTH HURTS. BIRTH CAUSES PAIN AND STRUGGLE AND DEATH”. It is not a method or a technique. Ecstatic Birth is fundamental to conscious evolution. It is not a return to ‘the way things were’. Ecstatic birth is about a journey of choice and freedom, not a destination.

A well-known psychologist, Margo Anand, has said, “One moment of ecstasy can transform your life.” E.J. Tinsley describes ecstasy as “ . . . an overwhelming experience wherein the sense of individual selfhood is transcended, the primary tense dimensions of time, past, present and future, are blended in an overwhelming sense of the eternal now, and there is an unforgettable experience of serenity, well-being and joy”.

Ecstasy is an experience of expansion made possible by surrender to and acceptance of what is happening right now. Ecstasy is not the absence of feeling. Ecstasy asks that we embrace all that we are feeling in the moment and make a conscious choice to say "Yes" to those feelings, no matter how we perceive them. Then all of our powerful energy can flow and shift and change to a transcendent, empowering event that will set the foundation for expanded creativity in all areas of life.

When a physical experience is as intense as birth certainly is and there is a high expectation of pain, it is essential that the support available to women be constant and confident, compassionate and creative, as well as courageous. I choose to use the word ecstatic to describe birth in order to awaken thought and exchange. Profound change requires the energy of strong feelings and responses. I have not been disappointed. One incident reminded me, yet again, of the culture of fear surrounding birth. Pat Bennaceur, an excellent therapist and Ecstatic Birth Coach in England, worked closely with a young woman to co-create a satisfying, ecstatic birth. Subsequently, this birth featured in an article and an interview in a national newspaper. The article, titled “From Agony to Ecstasy”, told about the self-development work that the young woman had done in the years between the births of her two children. Pat, justifiably pleased, asked her stepmother if she had seen and read the article. “Yes, dear, I did read it”, she said. “But I can’t believe it! I cannot believe that birth can be anything but excruciating, dreadful and humiliating; the most terrible experience that a woman can go through!” This fundamental thinking about birth is prevalent.

These cultural beliefs lead women and their partners to leave birth to the medical establishment and their technology. Midwives, doctors, nurses, therapists, and educators, the people who are with the powerful energies of birth everyday, must lead the way to more enlightened birthing practices. The strong debates and media coverage at this time are bringing our deepest fears into the conscious awareness. When we are aware, we can make informed choices for ourselves and our future. Unexpressed fear quells confidence, and blocks creativity. Unexpressed fear stops the flow of energy and invites intrusion. Unexpressed fear causes separation and motivates victim consciousness. Since 1986, only 3% of the births with a focus on Ecstatic Birth work have had any intervention at all. While in most of civilized society the average national Caesarean rate alone is well above 25% and intervention is upwards of 80%.

I began a lifelong relationship with birth through the experience of giving birth to my two sons. The first, in 1966, was extremely painful and I was drugged. The second, in 1968, was drug free, and I had an expanded, "beyond time and space" experience that I described as an orgasm. I learned then, quite spontaneously, that birth could be ecstatic. In the subsequent 32 years I have realized, experienced and witnessed that ecstasy can be a conscious choice and can be learned. In her landmark book, MOLECULES OF EMOTION, 1997, neuroscientist Candace Pert, states, "A shocking but exciting fact revealed by the opiate-receptor findings was that it didn't matter if you were a lab rat, a First Lady, or a dope addict -- everyone had the exact same mechanism in the brain for creating bliss and expanded consciousness." Ms Pert goes on to highlight the well-documented peptide, respiratory link, showing that there are more endorphin receptors in the lungs than any other part of the body.

Birth has become my greatest teacher. In each moment we are creating the foundation consciousness or attitude of the next moment. After the birth of my first son, I made a clear declaration. I said with all my feeling energy, "There must be a better way to give birth, we know too much about ourselves not to know this. I am not going to give birth again unless I find another way." That declaration was a form of commitment. My commitment brought all the forces together for the desired result. At the birth of my second son I had the support of the father of my boys, a trained coach and educator, and my obstetrician.

During pregnancy I met with women who had had "pain free" experiences. These meetings supported me greatly. I read all the books that I could find on the subject of psycho prophylaxis, the method of birth preparation developed by Dr. Lamaze in France in the 1950’s, and complementary subjects. I considered myself to be in training, as though for an Olympic event. I know now that knowledge about the possibilities and support were the major contributing factors in my "success".

I have been exploring the impact of my own conception, pregnancy and birth since 1975. After a painful separation and divorce in 1971, I began a deep self-evaluation process. The path led from the psychiatrist's office through many processes and workshops to a hot tub. Here, began the work with psycho-spiritual process and Breathwork known as rebirthing, pioneered by Leonard Orr in 1974. I started my work with Leonard in New York City in the fall of 1975. This powerful and effective breath therapy based on the philosophy, thought is creative, was in its very early stages.

I began to remember my own birth and the births of my sons. I experienced extraordinary energy moving in my body and remembered the fear that those feelings had brought forth in my first labor. I also remembered the orgasm-like event. I somehow knew that part of my Soul's purpose was to discover how to have an experience like that, consciously. What was it that had happened for me? What was it I did or didn’t do? What did I think? What didn't I think? How could I reproduce that experience again for myself or for other women? I actually think that I know how. AND the truth is I can't do it for someone, no one can do it for someone else. However, we can make a conscious choice to work together, allow support and learn how to have a transcendent, empowering experience giving birth and living life.

I have been supporting others to re-experience and heal the impact of their prenatal and birth experience on a full time basis since 1978. In 1979, I was given the opportunity to begin my work with pregnant couples. I have spent thousands of hours with people remembering and integrating their births in private sessions and in my workshop and training settings. I have also spent thousands of hours with women and their partners before and during pregnancy and while giving birth. I have listened, counseled, observed and coached. The work has always been focused on healing the negative decisions made in the pre and perinatal stages of development.

Transforming life by healing birth has been the theme of my self-development trainings in Germany, England and Denmark since 1988. The work once known as Healing Birth Rebirthing is now 'SOURCE Process and Breathwork'. SOURCE, is a three-year training process for Breathwork coaches, Ecstatic Birth preparation and birth support, as well as self-development. Everyone has the opportunity to learn to birth their babies, their projects and their lives consciously aware in every moment that they can choose a way that is empowering and promotes satisfaction.

Outline drawing of a pregnant woman sitting in a lotus flower, with a large eye in the background.

As long ago as 1939, a very wise philosopher and teacher proposed that we could bring about peace on Earth and eradicate many life threatening diseases in a few generations. He said that this could happen by giving specific attention to the environment, health and consciousness of pregnant women, and thus their babies. That teacher was Omraam Mikhail Aivanhov.

Many voices have followed. Journals of confirming research are published regularly by The Association for Pre and Perinatal Psychology and Health, based in the United States, and the International Society for Pre and Perinatal Psychology and Medicine based in Europe. The Organization for Prenatal Education in England has as an aim to provide information related to prenatal life in order to promote harmonious physical and psychological development of the unborn child. There are groups in every civilized country working to support the realization that babies are alert and learning in the womb and at birth. It is of utmost importance that we address the issues, both personal and global, that this knowledge brings forth.

Was your mother aware of your consciousness when she was pregnant with you? Did she speak to you while you were in her body? Did she listen while you were co-creating a body . . . making up your mind? Did your mother look forward to your birth as an opportunity to express her power and authority?

POINTS TO REMEMBER ABOUT BIRTH

(Please note this is written to the pregnant woman)

1. Be with people who think you can do it. Keep numbers to a minimum, and to people with whom you are familiar.

2. Labour is active. Keep moving as long as you can. I don’t mean you have to keep standing, just be as normal as possible, moving and being in positions that are comfortable.

INSPIRING BIRTH STORIES FROM LYNNE THORSEN

Talking though her own experiences of pregnancy Lynne reveals the decisions and reasons behind her birth choices; home birth, water birth and what happens when you are presented with what could be seen as a negative. In Lynne's case at 32 weeks being told your child is in breach position and still being committed to a home birth.

Exciting times as Binnie A Dansby and Lynne Thorsen discuss their new book, about birth and how they first met and became co-authors.

After 30 years of working with Pre and Perinatal issues both with couples and adults remembering and releasing their births it is an exciting prospect for Binnie and now Lynne to put this into book form; to Inspire, Empower and Support the creation of an Ecstatic, Empowered, Conscious Birth for all the family.

When you have a contraction, lean forward on someone or the wall or a chair. On your hands and knees is a good position to try, and I have noticed that the majority of the women who have given birth with me have done so on hands and knees.

3. You know your body better than anyone, and if you “listen in”, you will know exactly what to do, even when you think you don’t. Ask your partner or support person to remind you and to see to it that you are asked before anyone makes a decision about what you “should” do. SLOW DOWN, take your time. You can also take the time to “listen in” to your baby.

4. Don’t try to be strong, talk about how you are feeling and what you are thinking. When you can access your feelings, whatever they are, you can then use the energy however you choose. Make the sounds that are comfortable for you. You are and your baby are the ones who matter, the ones everyone is there to support!

5. Breathing is very helpful, and holding your breath is not. You will know how to breathe, for you. Keep relaxing your jaw, and opening your throat and pay attention to the breath. “As above, so below”. The mouth and jaw and throat represent the pelvis and the birth canal. It is enough to do to pay attention “above”, “below” is perfectly designed to birth a baby.

6. You always have a choice about what you Speak Out, no matter how your body is feeling. “NO” causes the body to contract, and “YES” causes the body to open. It may sound silly, and “Yes” and “Thank You” with a contraction will support you to stay focused on what is really important. I have seen it seem to work miracles.

7. YOUR BABY IS FULLY CONSCIOUS AND EDUCABLE WHICH MEANS THAT IT IS LISTENING AND COMMUNICATING TELEPATHICALLY. TALK TO IT, LET IT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING FOR YOU. UNDER ALL CIRCUMSTANCES, MAKE SURE THAT ANYTHING THAT IS DONE TO IT BE EXPLAINED TO IT FIRST.

IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY, TAKE SOME TIME EACH DAY TO LISTEN TO YOUR BABY. REMEMBER THAT THIS BEING LOVES YOU BEYOND ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN EVEN IMAGINE! YOUR JOB IS TO OPEN TO RECEIVE ALL THE LOVE THAT IT HAS FOR YOU AND YOUR PARTNER! THAT IS ALL IT WANTS OR EVER WILL WANT.

8. After the birth, see to it that you and your baby are together, or that it is with your partner. Make sure that you receive nurturing and support in physical forms. The baby and you are one unit, things don’t change just because it is outside now. This doesn’t mean that you can’t put it down, just that you know that you need baby as much as baby needs you. You need to be cared for so that you can give what is needed.

9. Choose an overall focus for yourself for the birth. Expansion is one that I know has been very successful. Another woman chose to think of her labour and birth as a sensual, sexual experience. Opening like a flower is wonderful. Pictures of full-blown roses and the lotus are images that are helpful. What images and aromas give you a sense of completion and wholeness and comfort?

10. Allow yourself to receive all the love and support that is around you. Make clear choices and then trust that you make the right choices for you and your family. YOU DESERVE TO BE SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WHO ARE LISTENING TO YOU AND THE BABY. PEOPLE WHO ARE SUPPORTING YOU TO HAVE AN EMPOWERED, ENLIGHTENING EXPERIENCE. THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG WAY, IF YOU ARE LISTENING TO YOURSELF AND TO YOUR BODY. YOU HAVE EVERY THING THAT YOU NEED! HAVE AN INNOCENT, ECSTATIC TIME! I LOVE YOU!

For pregnant women, their partners, and all who support birth with love,
BLESSINGS, Binnie A. Dansby, 1996.

SUPPORT FOR PARENTS & BIRTH EDUCATORS

If you intended to participate in the Olympics, you would prepare psychologically and emotionally, as well as physically. I doubt that you would leave anything to chance. There are many resources and tools available for both inner and outer preparation. Choose carefully those that feel comfortable and right for you. The inner agreement to support yourself with intentional choice of all your activities, nutrition, environment, care and guidance is fundamental to your success. Opening to receive the support is of equal importance to choosing support. I have observed that this is the most difficult task for many women.

The most supportive "action" anyone can take is to accept the truth "I am connected, I matter!" Based in that affirmation of life, develop intimate relationship with those closest to you. You have the opportunity to transform all your relationships if you pay attention to the relationship you have with yourself. Open to a loving relationship with the baby. A relationship that includes listening to it, as well as speaking to him or her. Everyone at a birth causes an effect on the outcome. Be aware of creating relationship with all the people who will accompany you through labor and birth and after. Choose these people mindful that you can have what you want. Get to know them and allow them to know you.

For many years I have been referring to what I have prepared women to do, one on one and then for the last 12 years in large groups - more research, more experience more finding out what works and what doesn’t. I have called it Ecstatic Birth for a long time, because I got in touch with the fact that Ecstasy is not the absence of pain or feeling. Ecstasy is a transcendent experience. Ecstasy is reached not by trying to get away from something, but by accepting whatever is happening, whatever we are feeling in the moment, saying Yes! to it so that the energy can flow and shift and change. When we resist is when we cause pain.

Giving birth to my son 30 years ago I did not experience pain. Not only was there no pain, I was actually in charge … very much so, to the extent that I didn’t have the pleasurable experience of labor that many women I have worked with have had. I was very busy running everything at that birth and it was wonderful. I didn’t experience pain, and I had an extraordinary expansive experience as his head presented. I call it an orgasm, and I notice that orgasm is a transcendent, no time, no space experience . . . a cracking open of the wall of time and space. "One moment of ecstasy can transform your life."

Ecstasy is (according to E.J.Tinsley*) "an overwhelming experience wherein the sense of individual selfhood is transcended, the primary tense dimensions of time, past, present and future, are blended in an overwhelming sense of the eternal now, and there is an unforgettable experience of serenity, well-being and joy". Theoretical as that may sound, it nevertheless describes the experience of the saints and mystics, those who, as the spiritual writer Baron von Hugel testified, "are never so fully active, so truly and intensely themselves, as when they are most truly possessed by God".

Lynne Thorsen, Binnie's co-author and long time friend shares some amazing and inspiring birth experiences in the following videos.

In this personal story of the birth of her three children teacher and author, Lynne Thorsen shares her powerful healing journey with giving birth and becoming a mother.

Lynne discovered Binnie via a search for SOURCE Process Breathwork and up popped Binnie's name and the fact that she was also associated with ecstatic, empowered birth - a passion of Lynne's. After the birth of her children she wanted to shout to the world that birth doesn't need to be painful or medicated; Binnie and Lynne talk more on this in this short video.

FATHERS-TO-BE

SUPPORT FOR FATHERS AND FAMILIES DURING THE TRANSITION INTO FATHERHOOD

There is now an organisation offering information as well as courses to help develop the consciousness for and about men in the time of pregnancy, birth and early parenthood – Fathers To Be – for fathers, mothers, midwives, doulas, childbirth practitioners, educators and everyone interested in new possibilities for the family. Developed and run by Patrick Houser, Binnie’s husband, this programme and information forms a perfect complement to the material in the rest of this site.

Fathers-To-Be supports expectant and new dads by reinforcing their relationship with themselves, their partners, their babies, and the health professionals caring for the family.

“For the majority of mothers an important ingredient for her successful pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding is the care provided by the father.” Patrick M. Houser

Today’s fathers are participating more than ever before in the birth and up-bringing of their children. This can have a strong impact on the family. Research has established the importance of a father’s contribution in his children’s early life.

Practical and emotional fitness for the transition to fatherhood can be learned/awakened and is very useful.

How healthcare professionals welcome fathers is significant to the whole family system.

Fathers-To-Be offers men effective preparation for fatherhood through practical education. Riding the waves of pregnancy, birth and early fatherhood involves supporting a woman’s rhythm while learning to maintain your own balance.

Fathers-To-Be provides study days for childbirth practitioners, educators, lactation consultants and social workers including how to facilitate their working relationship with fathers. We also consult with healthcare organisations, hospitals and schools in support of their whole-family and birth care practices.

The development of Ecstatic Birth work has its foundation in my personal work, psychological, emotional and spiritual, as well as in study of the pioneering achievements of Wilhelm Reich, Carl Jung, Arthur Janov and Stanislav Grof. The social scientist, Ashley Montagu, has had a profound impact on my thinking about being a woman and being human. In the field of conscious birthing practice, I acknowledge the work of Dr. Dick-Read, Dr. Bradley, Dr. Lamaze, Dr. Leboyer, and Dr. Odent. I must acknowledge the spiritual master, Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov, who as long ago as 1938 spoke to his students in France about the influence of the mother during gestation and the need for conscious awareness about all aspects of the environment of the unborn child. My heroes in the field of prenatal and perinatal psychology are Thomas Verny, M.D., David Chamberlain, Ph.D. and Prof. Peter Fedor-Freybergh, M.D. I am grateful for their faith and their friendship.

"This is birth.
The torture of an innocent.
What futility to believe that so great a cataclysm will not leave a mark, it's traces are everywhere - in the skin, in the bones, in the stomach, in the back
In all our human folly
In our madness, our tortures, our prisons
In legends, epics, myths
In the Scriptures."

Dr. Frederick Leboyer, 1975, Birth Without Violence.

In modern society we are faced every day with the consequences of high technology birthing practices. They begin by separating a woman from her family and the familiar at this most tender of times, and move on to intrusive intervention in the natural process with fetal monitoring, drugs for relief of pain, forceps, and the knife. All are practices of control rather than co-operation. A very high percentage of healthy women do not need the chemicals and the instruments.

In a paper titled Psycho-Technology of Pregnancy and Labor, Pre and Perinatal Psychology and Medicine, 1988, Dr. Thomas Verny puts forth two laws of the psycho-technology of labor:

Verny's First Law: The quantity of technological devices in the labor room is inversely proportional to the amount of human contact between staff and patient.

Verny's Second Law: The quantity of technological devices in the labor room is directly related to the degree of discomfort experienced by the patient.

In a study, published in the British Medical Journal, 1998, researchers Jacobson and Bygdeman concluded that the pain experienced by infants during complicated delivery is likely to be linked causally to violent suicide. Another study done in 1985 by Lee Salk and associates showed a link between high tech birth and separation from mother and adolescent suicide. Studies regularly cite the link between violent behavior and the overuse of labor inducing drugs, intrusive birthing methods and intensive care nurseries.

All the research shows that pregnancy, birth and the days immediately following birth have a profound impact on the entire creative process we call our Life. Babies are educable in the womb, and they are conscious at birth. Conception, pregnancy and birth are an intense and clearly defined metaphor for the mechanics of manifestation. In order to create anything, a painting, a meal, a business, a building or a baby, we must first conceive it; think about it (Conception). The next step is to take action, to give the energy and time that it takes to give life to the concept (Pregnancy). Commitment and persistence are ingredients that are required in varying measure depending on the concept. Babies take 9 months and a meal can take ½ an hour, whereas a cathedral can take many years. In time we produce a result (Birth).

Many concepts remain just that, a concept, because we have chosen not to give the energy necessary to get to the desired result. Mysteries about our relationship with creativity and with relationship itself are solved when we begin to explore our own birth stories.

A couple conceiving and a mother carrying a child are physical symbols of our connection and co-creation at the most profound levels of consciousness. All of the people involved with this fundamental life process are affected by and cause an effect on the miracle of birth, no matter what the circumstances.

I believe that we can transform the quality of life on earth by transforming the quality of the birth experience for EVERYONE.

One of the things that I have learned from being with birth and the effects of birth is that what we think about birth, we think about life. In order to co-create this transformation a great change must take place in our consciousness about birth. The creative process, birth, is not simply a mechanical, physical process. It is important to employ heart and spirit as well as mind. Love and intuition have as much importance here as instruments. Honor, respect and self-esteem are as vital in the conception of the possibility of ecstatic birth as technical skills. Everyone involved with the process is an integral part of this revolution. We are perfectly designed, physiologically and psychologically, to give birth in ecstasy. What we do need is support and more education regarding the long-term impact of birth for everyone involved in the birthing process. The results we produce are always consistent with our beliefs and expectations. In order to bring Ecstatic Birth, Ecstatic Life to reality, everyone must be included, everyone with a navel. Midwives, doctors, nurses, therapists and educators must make a commitment to be more and more conscious in all the stages of conception, pregnancy and birth, knowing that our presence, knowledge and wisdom makes a difference. We all have an effect on every outcome, just as every outcome has an effect on each of us. As we deepen our understanding through self-experience, we can then educate pregnant women and their partners, birth professionals, and the young people who are the parents of the future.

In the profound and sensory experience of birth we were making decisions. Those decisions are held at the level of our cellular memory. They cause an effect whether we are conscious of them or not. It is possible to explore the decisions made at birth and the closely held beliefs about birth that we hear from our family and society. When we give birth and support birth in past thinking we are giving birth to the past again. Our future is worth more than that. Babies can be born through Mothers who are allowing their own natural morphine to flow freely by conscious, open breathing, relaxing and being active. Women can remain present and in charge, wholly conscious in all stages of pregnancy, labor and birth. When there is support for the full expression of all thoughts and feelings allowing fear to be released and the absence of artificial pain relief, endorphins are released and received by both Mother and baby. When they make eye contact just after birth, the endorphins recede.

How many women and their partners know this about natural pain relief?

How many women have the opportunity to listen in and freely express their fears about birth?

How many women report that their experience of giving birth was empowering and wholly satisfying?

How many midwives report that their experience of supporting birth is empowering and wholly satisfying?

Do you have the support that you need?

A survey published in England in May 2001 showed that only 7% of women have a normal, physiological birth. This is not good enough. Human beings are not assembly line products. England is not alone. We can observe more and more technical intervention in birth all over the world. Midwives are leaving the profession on a regular basis. Burnout is one of the most prevalent of their complaints. Although they are well trained technically, they are compassionate women who are touched deeply by what they have to deal with every day. It seems that every birth gives birth to more fear about birth. There is a major imbalance. Energy is blocked in chaos and confusion. Birth professionals and women, alike, want answers, and society needs them.

The time has come for us to bring our attention to the profound personal and cultural impact of conception, pregnancy and birth on all of life. The time has come to respect and use the information that we have gathered. The time has come to slow down and take the time to acknowledge, speak, and feel our birth stories. Once explored, patterns and influence are apparent. Everyone I know who has integrated the reality of consciousness before and during birth, approaches birth differently.

The fact that birth affects all that we think and do is not an indictment. Acceptance of this fact actually brings us closer to wholeness and deeper understanding of ourselves and of others. Birth and early childhood memories held at the level of the subconscious form patterns of behavior and expectation and attraction. I have found that one significant aspect of the subconscious is what I call the “Baby that lives in your heart”. To acknowledge its existence is an act of compassion and forgiveness and sets the stage for profound spontaneous change. As we bring what has been thought to be the ‘underworld’, the ‘dark side’, to the light of awareness, it is no longer dark. When we employ the breath consciously, we can gain access to strong repressed feelings, experience them and release vital life energy. Revealing a part of the subconscious to be tender and innocent and in need of attention and loving care can provoke a whole range of feelings from anger to sadness to exaltation followed by a deep relaxation and sense of well being. In this state of relaxation and connection with our history, we become aware of our choice for life and our original intent. When our all-pervasive love is revealed it extends to all creation, and we can be present wherever we are without judgment. We can be creative with our lives, our tools and our technology.

If we can say, “Yes”, to the ‘baby that lives in our heart’, we can then and only then say an unequivocal, “Yes”, to the babies born to us and through us. Personal history is the history of all humankind. We can be leaders in the conscious evolution of humanity. I extend my honor, respect and deep gratitude to everyone who is co-creating conscious evolution with me and to all those who are holding the vision of babies being born through peace and, YES, even pleasure. Ecstasy can be a conscious choice.

Conceive the birth of consciousness that is certain that it is safe in the world, supported and loved.

Conceive the birth of consciousness that embraces feelings and opens easily to higher and higher levels of energy.

Conceive the birth of consciousness that knows that it has a choice about what to think about every experience.

Conceive the birth of consciousness that perceives itself as innocent, an expression of love co-creating.

Conceive the birth of consciousness that remembers its Soul's Purpose to serve by being present without judgement.

Conceive the possibility of all the members of the Family of Humanity participating fully in the creative process, Birth and Life, with a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

BINNIE A. DANSBY 2001

A MIDWIFE'S POINT OF VIEW

Valerie Julia Taylor... is an independent midwife with a thriving practice in Southern England.

Val began working with birth in England in 1976 during her studies in nursing. After qualifying as a Registered Nurse, Val received a post-graduate certificate in Intensive Care Nursing, became a Registered Midwife and earned a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Health Studies. Val has also pursued independent study of personal and professional self-development in birth, pre and perinatal psychology and related fields. During 15 years of working with birth in hospitals she became aware, " there has got to be a better way to care for our mothers and support the birth of our children." In 1990 Val co-created an independent midwifery practice in London.

Currently, her Wise Woman Midwifery practice offers home birth support as an alternative to parents who want something more from the birth experience.

VALERIE TAYLOR... ON ECSTATIC BIRTH.

I think there are several things that are very important if you want to prepare for an ecstatic birth, especially at the moment, current consciousness is very much one of fear and distress around birth. Most women will have met their friends and family who have probably had a birth with quite a lot of intervention and possibly pain and distress, and after which they don't feel very satisfied. Obviously, when you have a nice newborn baby as the end result, you tend to forget what you went through to get there. For women who are going to try and do something differently and have an ecstatic birth, you really need to prepare, because you really need to change your mind. You need to realize that most people you come across will expect birth to be painful and unpleasant.

Therefore, one thing you can do is try to find information however you can. It is especially good to speak to people who have had an ecstatic birth or see images of women who have had an ecstatic birth. You may have a little germ of an idea in your mind that this is how you want it to be, but then doubts creep in, and you hear other people and your commitment is eroded. So it is very important to do things to support your commitment. It is very helpful if you hear from other women, who have had this experience, you think Yes, I can do that!

Reading inspirational material is another thing that you can do, and particularly talking to someone like a Breathwork practitioner who specializes in Ecstatic Birth so that you can really hear a completely different point of view. You can get tools to actually help yourself achieve this.

I think an ecstatic birth is a birth on all levels, physical, emotional and spiritual, so to start off it is important for you to eat well. Find a good nutritional program and find out if you need supplements or to improve your diet in any way. Exercise is supportive because you want your body to be in a good shape and you want to have the energy and the knowledge of how to support yourself in being active during labor and able to assume any position that you want. You need to have a life style where you are not running frantically out to work 12 hours a day and coming in and imagining that you can just spend one hour a week or something preparing for a birth. It's a commitment from when you find you are pregnant to the birth and after, really.

So your lifestyle bears consideration. You need to have enough sleep and rest and spend time with yourself and with the baby, connecting with the baby with the awareness that the baby is consciously aware of what's happening. That's the physical.

Emotionally and psychologically you can prepare by having support. Speak to people; surround yourself with people like birth preparation teachers, Breathwork practitioners, and friends. If you have doubts or your energy is low you can call upon them and feel positive again. So, whilst it is important to look after your physical body, eat a good diet, rest, take long walks in the country, and do things that you like to do, the real task of pregnancy and preparing for an ecstatic birth is the inner work. It's part of the transformation. Being a woman who is not pregnant, then becoming pregnant and moving toward giving birth is an inner transformation. Along the way you will undoubtedly find a lot of fear come up, and it is very important to be able to talk to other women and to people who have had an ecstatic birth and just share your feelings. Most pregnant women are frightened about the same sorts of things.

A really crucial part of having an ecstatic birth is the choice of where to give birth. That is very individual. It can be home or it can be hospital. That is not the crucial factor. The crucial factor is a place where the woman is going to feel safe. If at all possible, the woman needs to arrange a system of care whereby she can get to know her midwife and know that that midwife will be with her at the birth. That is possible to do. One of the key factors in being able to just let go and let the physiology and the process of birth just flow is that the woman feels safe, trusts the people around her and is totally comfortable in the environment she's in. For some women that's a hospital room. You can do things to personalize the room. Bring your own belongings in, your favorite pillow or throws or tapes. So long as that's your choice, and you have worked with the midwives that will be with you to get clear on how you want the birth to be, then you are really setting it up to work for you. Obviously, it is a little more difficult in some health authorities because you don't know the midwife that you are going to meet. In that case, it is that much more important for you and your partner to have clarified a plan of birth, so that when you first go in you can introduce yourself, and you can get clear with the midwife, "This is how I want it to be. This is what my priorities are." In an ideal world if you already know that midwife, it already makes that process a lot easier. So, I do think that setting up your organization of care is a crucial component of an ecstatic birth.

A major part of preparing for an ecstatic birth is, as I have said, the inner work. Tools that you can use for inner work include relaxation, visualization, creating affirmations, which are just positive statements about any subject. You can create affirmations about particularly how you want the birth to be. I think that women hear a lot of negative statements about birth, and I think it's very important to replace those with positive statements. Actually work with the affirmations, either repeat them or make a tape and listen to them.

Another useful tool is to visualize how you want your birth to be. You may say, "Oh, you're creating an ideal fantasy. It might not work out, so there's no point in doing it.” It is true that you are not sure how the birth will turn out, and it's equally useful, however the birth works out to have had a picture of how you wanted it to work out. That doesn't mean that you are going to become disappointed if you don't get this particular birth. The truth is, if you put the energy and the thought into visualizing and seeing how the birth will be, really creating it like a video, then you have a very high likelihood of creating that event. You must really get into it and see it, feel it and smell it. Imagine how the room looks and what is there, what the sounds are. Visualize every element. Nothing is achieved if you don't know where you are going. Obviously, you need to have the thought, AND, I'll change; however the circumstances develop.

It may be that you are planning a home birth and you have to be transferred to hospital, but you can also include in your conscious awareness that, however the birth turns out is exactly how it should be, a success! You don't need to get into being disappointed because it didn't look this way. So if you create a visual picture of how you want it, it doesn't mean that it is the only way that equals success. It means that's how you would like it to be, and you have the awareness that there are two of you co-creating this experience and maybe the baby needs for it to be another way. That is absolutely OK. You can also transfer as many elements of exactly how you wanted it to be to the changed situation. And again, you can communicate to the people who are around you.

Say, "This is still important to me . . ." You may, for instance, want to hold the baby first, or prefer that they don't dry the baby with a towel. Things that were in your visualization can also be included in the sequence of events that, perhaps, happen in hospital. A Caesarean or forceps birth can be equally ecstatic as a normal birth at home. This is not about saying that there is any one way for it to look and for creating this rather mystical view of this spiritual event at home. Every birth can be ecstatic, is ecstatic, if the people have the conscious awareness of that, and accept the perfection of how the birth is working out. That baby can be born into an ecstatic world, can be an ecstatic being, if everyone in the room understands, "This is absolutely perfect". So, actually preparing for an Ecstatic Birth, you are guaranteed success if you hold that viewpoint. However it looks is an Ecstatic Birth. And, it is very supportive when you are in the process of labor and birth to have people around you who know what work you've done, know perhaps some of your doubts and fears, and when your commitment is wavering a little, can remind you that you can do it. They can reflect back to you positive statements, or affirmations, and really hold the vision, "You can do this! This birth is going to be ecstatic." Because no woman on the planet is going to go through a birth without some doubt or concern that she can't do it. So, having supportive people around is actually part of the process of achieving an Ecstatic Birth.

And the partner, trustfully he or she has been with the woman through the process, understands the work the pregnant woman has done to prepare for an ecstatic birth, and, also, understands this whole concept that, in general, the world view is that birth is not safe, it's dangerous. A lot of people who go to births can hold this view, so, in fact, if you are at birth and your partner is the only other person who has shared your preparation, then that can still make a difference. He can totally align with the pregnant woman and keep this attitude, this positive attitude to keep this positive commitment going, and act as an advocate, perhaps with the midwife and explain how she wants the birth to be, and what the priorities are. When a woman is in labor she's not going to want to be talking to midwives and saying, "This is important to me, this isn't".

So the partner can be very, very important in acting as an advocate between the laboring woman and the hospital personnel. If the partner is not fully supportive of your commitment to an Ecstatic Birth, although this may seem rather controversial, it is probably better that he is not at the birth. It has become a kind of orthodoxy now that the man has to be at the birth, and some men really, in their heart of hearts, don't want to be there, but they feel that they have to. It has to be done. If the partner is either in so much fear about birth that he cannot support you in an ecstatic birth, it is more supportive for him to stay at home or go to the pub or whatever he might like to do. You can have a close woman friend or a relative or your Breathwork practitioner, someone or ones who can really support you, and be totally committed. One thing that definitely happens if you work around birth, you do experience feelings from your own birth. If you have looked at those feelings and looked at your fears throughout the pregnancy and your partner has not, you can feel reflected back from him the negative feelings. This is not any kind of judgment. It's not to say that he is any less of a man or a partner than anyone else. It is true that the energy and the consciousness that is in the birthing room very much influences how the birth will proceed. Whether the partner is there or not is an individual choice for that couple.

I think one of the most important aspects of having an ecstatic birth is finding the right people to care for you and support you during the pregnancy and during the labor. One of the key supports for a woman who is going to have a baby is the midwife or doctor. World Health Organization statistics show that 85 to 90 % of women will have a problem free labor, and midwives are the expert practitioners in normal birth. So, if there are no problems then the midwife is fully qualified to look after the pregnant and the laboring woman. It's such a support for a woman preparing for an ecstatic birth to know the midwife who is looking after her, and to have worked with her antenatally. This might be an appropriate person that she's been discussing her hopes, her fears with. It is important to then have that midwife that you know when you ring up and you're in labor; this is the woman who is going to be looking after you. It already creates such a ground of safety and support that is the first foundation of then proceeding into the labor, and so that the woman can just let go and allow her body to work, to maximize all the hormones and optimize, really the ecstasy of the process.

I have been asked if it is safe to use Breathwork during pregnancy. One of the main reasons people have a doubt about it is the misconception that it is a form of hyperventilation, or breathing to rapidly. Certainly, breathing too rapidly over a prolonged period is not safe even when you are not pregnant, and particularly if you are pregnant. I can't stress enough that Breathwork, particularly with a qualified Breathwork practitioner, is safe and it does not involve over breathing. You will, with a qualified practitioner, be coached and if you started breathing too rapidly or anything like that, you would be coached on how to slow down and relax your breathing. It's safe to take a fuller breath than one would normally do and to connect that without a pause between the in breath and the out breath.

It is a slightly different way of breathing than in normal day-to-day life, but that in and of itself there is absolutely no danger in doing that. Now, during the process of consciously breathing, using the breath, a lot of emotions can come up and a lot of physical sensations, as well as emotional sensations. And sometimes that is why I have heard some people say "Is it alright to do if you are pregnant?" Well, in fact, in a Breathwork session nothing will happen outside of your control. You are still fully in control of yourself. And, it is useful to realize that using the breath, you actually have a tool to enable you to deal with sensations in the body, whether it's an emotional or a physical sensation. So, in that way it is very beneficial.

Val Taylor can be reached in the UK by phone on +44 (0) 1 273 308 885.

GUIDANCE FOR MOTHERS

"Women are the mothers of humanity; do not let us ever forget that or underemphasize its importance. What mothers are to their children, and to others, so will men be to men.
Women must assume the full birthright of motherhood."

Ashley Montagu, The Natural Superiority of Women, 1952

At a time when more and more women are asking for elective Caesareans sections and the normal procedure in hospital is to have an epidural, you might ask why I am speaking about an alternative choice for staying present with all the feelings in your body. There are many reasons.

Foremost among them is to emphasize and honor the powerful influence of the consciousness of the Mother on all of society. I also want to encourage the sense of deep satisfaction awaiting a woman who has had a goal and worked to achieve it.